Dawn is doing a fun thing called 101 Wednesdays, where you share a little bit about our Catholic faith. I decided to participate this week, even though I can't keep things nearly as short and sweet as she can! Feel free to play along as well!
When I first started attending mass with my then-boyfriend, I hated it. Everything was so foreign and cold, and I would frequently be in tears when everyone else went forward to take communion and I was left alone in the pew.
Even when I opened up to the Church, I wasn’t sure I would ever actually enjoy the mass. And yet now I really appreciate and even relish it! What were my issues 2-3 years ago and what’s changed since then?
Issue #1: It’s so quiet.
Original opinion: Nobody talks! It’s because everyone is mean and doesn’t care about each other and there’s no community. Seriously, why such a solemn place? A church should be brimming over with love! A love that is particularly expressed before the service by children running up and down pews, mothers hugging and sharing stories, and fathers shaking hands and asking about work. In a nutshell, joyful noise.
Present perspective: It’s because they’re praying. (Duh.)
I’ve come to really value having a few minutes of silence before mass begins. I can take some time to pray and prepare myself for the service, and for the week. The joyful noise can still happen after the mass is over. Beforehand, though, I can revel in the opportunity to be still before the Lord.
Issue #2: Everything’s memorized.
Original opinion: How in the world am I supposed to follow along when everyone’s just reciting things from memory? How is a person supposed to learn this? And it all seems so rote, like they don’t mean what they’re saying. Also, I secretly suspect that they do this so that outsiders feel left out.
Present perspective: Turns out, the missal (little book with the readings) has everything written out, so nothing actually has to be memorized. But after you say it enough, you start to know it by heart. It’s like the Lord’s Prayer. You say it every week because it’s important. Sure, some weeks you might be distracted during it, but other weeks you might be blown away by a small aspect of it and mean it with every fiber of your being.
And it really isn’t about separating the in-group and out-group members. It took me a while to realize how selfishly I was approaching mass – but I’ll get to that later.
Issue #3: Up, down, up, down.
Original opinion: Sit, stand, kneel, sit, stand, kneel… Geez.
Present perspective: There are actually reasons behind when the postures. I was used to just standing up when singing, and thought of it more as a chance to stretch my legs during the service. Catholics stand and kneel out of respect – in particular standing for the reading of the Gospel and certain prayers and kneeling in the presence of the Eucharist.
Issue #4: One Bread, One Body?
Original opinion: Who are they to tell me I can’t take communion? I’m just as good of a Christian as that person walking up, if not better! I can’t believe they have this ridiculous rule to keep non-Catholics out. How dare they judge me unworthy, when Jesus invites everyone. And if I hear them sing “One Bread, One Body” one more time when in fact we are not all united as one, I am going to scream! Or more likely just burst into tears again.
Present perspective: Oh, where to start. A Catholic understanding of the Eucharist is of course worthy of its own post, and really multiple posts (I’ve only done one). Very briefly, you should only take it if you believe in it – and this is for your own good. Paul warns, “Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord unworthily will have to answer for the body and blood of the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:27).
Catholics don’t want to keep everyone out. They would love nothing more than for everyone to be united in the Eucharist! Until that day, they simply ask for respect that if you are not in full communion with the Church (that is, if you are not a Catholic or if you are a Catholic in a state of mortal sign), you abstain from participation, for the sake of your own soul. (Again, there’s soo much more to be said here, but it should really be a separate post.)
Issue #5: People sneak out early!
Original opinion: I actually saw people walk up for communion and then walk straight out the door! These people have no respect. If you’re in such a hurry to get your kid to soccer, you should’ve gone to one of the three other masses held today. And the same goes for you people who run out as soon as the priest has processed past you, instead of waiting for the song to end.
Present perspective: This actually still really bothers me, perhaps even more so now. I imagine it’s more prevalent at larger churches. I heard a great priest one time call out his parishioners on it, threaten to keep harping on it until they stopped, and remind them that the crowded parking lot afterward was the perfect opportunity to practice patience and love. I really appreciated him stepping up like this, because there’s really nothing I can do about it, except not leave early myself (and maybe not let out the people in the middle of the pew if I’m on the end!).
The thing is, focusing too much on this was destructive to me. I was definitely succumbing to pride and judging these people, and it was really distracting me. Three things have helped me with this. First, I sit close to the front, so I don’t see people slipping out the back. Second, after I receive the Eucharist, I close my eyes to pray (again, that way I don’t see them). Third, at the end of Mass I sing extra loud. These simple measures have helped me to mostly resolve this issue. I should probably be praying for those people that leave early as well, come to think of it.
Issue #6: Me, me, me!
Original opinion: The most important aspect of a church service is whether or not it fills you. Is the preaching good? Is the music good? If you can stay awake and pay attention the whole time, success. If not, time to go church shopping.
Present perspective: We go to mass to give thanks and praise and honor and worship to the Lord. It’s not all about what we can get out of it for ourselves, but about what we’re giving. The getting is just a bonus. I don’t want to completely deny the importance of being engaged and inspired by worship, and yet I think that we Christians often way overemphasize that. That leads us to approach the service in an unintentionally selfish manner (at least I know I myself was guilty of that).
The biggest thing that transformed my outlook on the mass was realizing that it’s not all about me. And that’s a good thing.
And there you have it – the path that took me from dreading and disparaging the mass to understanding and appreciating it. Have you ever struggled with similar issues? Or grappled with different ones?