Okay, so we’ve seen that Christianity has opposed contraception for nearly all of its history. But why? Well, we’ve already seen that children are blessings, not just expenses. It’s also important that we remain open to God’s plan for our lives. Now, just six months ago I said, “Of course I’m open to God’s plan! If He wants me to have a baby, me popping a little pill every morning isn’t going to stop Him. It’s God!” And of course that’s true. But by popping that pill every morning, I wasn’t fully open to Him.
God’s plan for sex has two purposes: unitive and procreative. These two things go hand in hand, and it wasn’t His plan for them to be separated. Babies and bonding go hand in hand. When we make love with our spouse, it’s supposed to be an act of total self-giving. Jesus commands us to love another as he has loved us. His love for us, his bride, his Church, was complete and life-giving. And so ours should be too. When we use contraception, we’re not completely giving ourselves to each other. We’re giving each other everything except our fertility, and denying God’s plan for us. (Have I explained this clearly? There are whole books about this, and I’m sure I can’t do it justice in a paragraph!)
God said over and over: “Be fruitful and multiply.” He didn’t say “Just have one or two kids so you have plenty of money to take extravagant vacations and drive a great car.” He also didn’t say “Have as many children as physically possible in order to keep your wife at home where she belongs, pregnant and barefoot.” He does want us to be responsible parents. But He also wants us to listen to Him and not to be selfish. If He calls us to have another child and we’re not sure that’s the best financial decision, He wants us to trust Him. And don’t worry, He’s probably not going to ask you to live like some reality TV show with 15 kids.
Catholics aren’t just spouting this stuff so they have lots of babies to continue the faith. They truly want to listen to God’s call and plan for their lives. And of course Protestants do too!
Martin Luther again:
"The purpose of marriage is not to have pleasure and to be idle but to procreate and bring up children, to support a household. Those who have no love for children are swine, stocks, and logs unworthy of being called men or women; for they despise the blessings of God, the Creator and Author of marriage."
Sex is supposed to be more than recreation. It’s also supposed to be more than procreation. It’s an amazing combination that supersedes both those things! Have you read the Song of Songs? And God can actually work through this pleasurable act to create new life! It’s so cool! Making love is a glimpse of heaven! (I could get more explicit, but I’ll spare you.)
NFP acknowledges that “the marital act” of “knowing” your spouse is supposed to be both procreative and unitive. There are, by the way, some Protestants who take the procreative aspect to the extreme. You’ve probably heard of the “Quiver-full movement.”1 They believe that all forms of birth regulation (even NFP) are wrong, and that you should try to have as many children as possible. They think they’ll eventually be able to overcome their opponents by sheer number 2 (and with a declining population, they have a point). I won’t talk any more about them (this post is already too long!), but the passage their name is from is a good one:
“Children too are a gift from the Lord, the fruit of the womb, a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children born in one’s youth. Blessed are they whose quivers are full. They will never be shamed contending with foes at the gate.” Psalms 127:3-5
The beauty of NFP is that through it a husband and a wife come closer to each other and closer to God. They come closer to each other because they’re respecting each other and sacrificing for each other. And every month they talk to each other about their thoughts and their lives. And they wonder why they’re abstaining and what God’s plan for them really is. And they talk to God and ask Him about that. And once that time is over, it’s another honeymoon!
So if we’re encouraged to exercise “responsible parenthood,” what’s the difference between NFP and contraception? “A couple who use contraception violate the intrinsic connection between love and life that God has inscribed in their bodies…. In the language of the body, the difference between NFP and contraception is the difference between refraining from speech for a time and lying.” (Healy 2005:97).
How can I best sum this up? It’s only within the last 80 years that any Christian churches have accepted any forms of birth control. For the 2000 years before that, all Christians understood it was wrong (and long long before that in Jewish tradition). Using contraception is easy, but God doesn’t call us to do what is easy. He calls us to live up to His commandments and to glorify Him. It is such a beautiful gift that He has blessed us with the ability to join Him in creating life. Just as the Holy Spirit springs forth from the communion of the Father and the Son, so does new life spring forth from the communion of a husband and wife. We can’t reject the procreative in our grasp at the unitive. Contraception is incompatible with an authentic Christian approach to marital union.
(Again, in a hurry to get going. Sorry if I've come off too strong or not clear enough or anything like that!)
1 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quiverfull
2 http://www.newsweek.com/id/189763
This is the last in a series of five posts. (Yes, I might've gotten a bit carried away.) Here are the others in this series:
Introduction: "NFP - Not just because I want babies!"
Part I: "Reason #1 - Social Health"
Part II: "Reason #2 - Personal Health"
Part III: "Reason #3 - Spiritual Health (History and Scripture)"