Just a quick posting before I get to doing my actual work for the day (darn Conversion Diary post reminding me that I need to follow through on the duties I've committed to (currently dissertating) instead of just sitting around thinking about holy thoughts!).
I've been thinking a lot lately about how we are ultimately called to serve. This is perhaps the least glamorous thing we can possibly do in our society. We want to be served, not do the serving! But Jesus came to serve, and if it is our goal to imitate him, we've got a lot of serving to do.
But what form should that service take?
This past spring I volunteered serving breakfast to the homeless one morning a week, and it was awesome! I met great people and really felt like I was making a difference. Having to get up at 5:00 in the morning and getting blisters from ladling out grits made it even better - I was doing physical labor for God and not afraid to get uncomfortable and feel pain! Yes! I was willing to literally get burned to feed the least of these! If I kept that up, I'd be on the short-track to heaven for sure!
But then I left Houston and my semester of serving and am wondering what's next. I really do want to get involved with volunteering, not just because it's the "right" thing to do, but because I figure now is when I still have the time to do it. Every couple weeks I remember that I could be doing something more with my time than playing around on the internet, and I feel quite guilty for not volunteering.
But I think there is more to service than volunteering. We're not called to just serve strangers - we're called to serve our own friends and family as well.
I started thinking this in April, actually, during that nightmare of a week when my mother-in-law lay unconscious. I came to the grand realization that I was being called to serve my in-laws, and her specifically! I reread the story of Ruth and vowed to be a loyal daughter-in-law. I had great plans of living a self-sacrificial life as I nursed her day and night and ministered to the rest of the family - my husband, my father-in-law, my two brother-in-laws. This was my big chance to really serve. I don't want it to sound like I was focused on myself at the time - I was just so excited about the chance to focus on other people, and not just any other people, but people I loved and cared about so much!
Then my mother-in-law passed away.
Um, excuse me, God? I thought you were going to use this in a good way, to teach us a few lessons and then miraculously heal her. You weren't actually supposed to take her home.
I started to realize that my service wasn't going to be some beautiful dramatic sacrifice for a bed-ridden mother. My service was going to be much less impressive than that, although not necessarily less important. I just needed to serve my husband and his family. And that is plenty!
So that's how I'm trying to look at life these days. Not to serve the men of the house like a spineless woman acquiescing to their every whim - but like a Christian who strives to serve their brethren and minister to them in ways that are healthy and most of all filled with love.
I'm still learning about the concept of vocations, but I believe being a wife (and hopefully eventually a mother) is my highest calling. So serving my husband is more than just a chore or duty, or just ministering to another person - it's a magnificent manifestation of our commitment. Sometimes (perhaps most of the time?) that service needs to be my top priority. Volunteering on top of that - well, that's just gravy. And having gravy on top is good. It tastes delicious, but you need something substantial underneath it.