Well-behaved women rarely make history.
You've seen the bumper stickers with this quote, right? While it may have originally had to do with victorious male record-keeping, it has morphed into much more - a statement of pride for revolutionaries and self-dubbed "bad girls" everywhere. I take issue with it on three counts.
1. Well-behaved women do make history.
It just so happens that the most well-known woman in history also behaved the best. Yes, of course I'm referring to the Virgin Mary.
She's not the only one. This is not just the case with Christians, but I especially think of all the female characters in the Bible and the female saints of the last 2000 years. For example, take Mary Magdalene. Too often we remember for her sins, when her real contribution to history was turning from them to Christ, essentially renouncing bad behavior for good.
Who do you think will be remembered longer - Mother Teresa or Britney Spears?
2. What kind of history are badly-behaving women making?
Women who aren't well-behaved might become (in)famous, but are they actually making a positive contribution to history? How will they be remembered?
Here I'm thinking in particular of our society's current reality-show fascination. The women are invariably not well-behaved, because how boring would that be to watch? Producers are going for shock and awe! These women get their 15 minutes, or one season, or even several years of fame.
Are these badly-behaving women actually making history? No. At most they achieve a fleeting notoriety, which will not influence the course of human events. And what about the women who act similarly without having a camera on them? Are they as a group making history? My guess is that, if anything, future generations will look back and either roll their eyes or pity them.
3. Who said we all have to make history?
Here's a radical thought: It's not a bad thing to be forgotten.
I'm not saying that it's a bad thing to be remembered, but I do think it's problematic to strive for that single-mindedly. Our culture prizes individuality so much that we're often desperate to find something that makes us unique. We of course are all unique individuals, but I think we place too much emphasis on that, resulting in selfishness along with less-than-desirable behavior. The vast majority of people are not so unique as to make history.
I am not going to make history. You probably aren't either. There's nothing wrong with that.
My goal is to be a good Christian, a good wife, a good mother and daughter and sister and friend. This is the same goal that women have had for ages. I will not gain fame from this, and that's okay. Making a positive influence in my little sphere is enough. While I don't want to be forgotten by my family and friends in my lifetime, or even the one or two after that, it's okay if nobody remembers me after that.
What do you think? How do you define well-behaved? Is your goal to make history or something different?