Wow, after hearing how little some of you pay for meat, I'm almost ashamed of what I pay! And that's at the least expensive of three local grocery stores!
While we're on the topic of money, my husband came home the other day from hanging out with some guys, one of whom does marriage prep classes. One of the questions they ask in those classes is "How much does something have to cost for you to ask permission from your spouse to buy it?" Apparently the answers vary greatly!
My husband's answer?
"Well, my wife called me at work the other day to ask if she could buy a teething ring for like $8, so I guess not much!"
Actually it was $12 plus almost $6 for shipping. But he's right - in the grand scheme of things $17 isn't that much money. What's interesting to me, though, is that I'll easily spend anywhere from 4-8 times that much at the grocery store and not even feel the need to mention it to him. Why the disparity in reporting?
For me it boils down to needs versus wants. We need food, toiletries, and clothes. (And really not that many clothes.) Those are the main things I buy, and neither my husband nor I feel the need to have me check in with him over that. That he trusts me to make these purchases makes things a lot easier. I would feel pretty silly calling him at work from the checkout line and saying "Groceries are gonna be $108 today. Is that okay?" What's he going to do, say no and have me put back the broccoli and laundry detergent?
On the other hand, I will agonize over buying almost any piece of clothing that costs more than say $10. Do I really need it? Is it on sale? How much did it cost to start? Am I going to get a lot of wear out of it? Is it truly worth it? A majority of the time I won't buy it.
And that brings us to the more discretionary items. This is where the asking permission part comes in for me. When something costs more than I think it should (like a $12+ teething ring when I assume I can get plastic ones for a third that much), I can't justify it myself. I can explain just why it is so much more expensive (handmade, wooden, organic, they plant a tree for every teether sold, yadda yadda), but I can't bring myself to purchase it without a go-ahead. Especially if it's something we don't truly need and could live without.
I used to buy books anytime I felt like reading them, but my husband noticed that it was really adding up. So I headed back to the library (hello old friend! it had been so long since I browsed you for fun!) and I am really glad he pointed out what an expensive habit I had developed. My latest expensive habit is the fabric store, but I'm trying to get that in line before he has to say anything!
This morning as I was starting this post, I realized I didn't know exactly what amount of money my husband would say in response to the question, so I asked him on his way out the door. He looked at me blankly.
"Elizabeth," he said. "I don't buy anything."
I laughed, because he was right. He hates shopping. If I even ask him to swing by the superstore while we're out, I can count on him being in a bad mood the rest of the day. He abhors buying unnecessary little things, knowing that when you spend a lot on little stuff then you don't have anything left for the big stuff that's really important. There's no need for him to have a set amount of money to ask my permission to spend, because he's not going to spend it unless we really need it - and in that case, we'll be together determining what to spend it on.
So I guess our answer to the original question would be "$10 for unnecessary items" for me and "N/A" for my husband!
I know this may differ for people, especially those who are good about following strict budgets, so I'm interested to hear your answers. How much does something have to cost for you to ask permission from your spouse to buy it? Does it vary based on what type of item it is? Has your response changed over the course of your marriage? Do you think it would vary if you worked outside the home versus stayed at home?