The Green Room

When NFP works too well

I'm not pregnant yet.

I just figured I'd break my blog silence with that non-announcement, since it's what many people seem to wonder!

When we first started using NFP, I was all about having babies. ASAP. I was hoping to have a bunch of kids close together in age. I was hoping to not even bother with NFP between the children, and just let breastfeeding (aka God) decide how fast and furious they would come.

It turns out that for me - the completely average woman - breastfeeding is in fact very effective at suppressing fertility. Even when I progressed from nursing on demand to nursing on routine, my body was still too focused on the present baby to even think about another. Once we got down to consistently going more than four hours between nursing, my fertility started to return, and at just over a year it had for the most part regulated itself. So naturally, a clear reason to postpone pregnancy had to crop up. Despite my longing for another child, we were back to phase 2 abstinence.

I admit, the idea of "accidentally" getting pregnant fluttered through my mind. We could just let everyone else assume it was unintentional and that NFP doesn't work. But NFP does indeed work, particularly if you're motivated. I am completely confident that we will not have any surprise pregnancies. Darn it.

Apparently I still have to wait a while before I get to be a joyful witness to the blessings of a large - and clearly Catholic - family. Our first two children will be more than two years apart, like so many other contracepting families. No Irish twins here!

But that's okay. Because trusting God when it comes to your family size does not have to mean being pregnant again bam!bam!bam! It means drawing together with your husband to discern your own family's call. And that in itself, regardless of pregnancy, is a success of NFP.

So no, I'm not pregnant yet. Because NFP works too well.