I’ve had a hard time getting around to posting this. I’m really busy with my research right now and feeling a bit overwhelmed by the combination of that and the busiest time of the year! Writing this was going to take too much time and be too long, and maybe since I’d already talked about modesty multiple times, it had been covered enough. To be honest, now that my closet’s cleaned out and I don’t have to worry about it any more, I’m starting to get a little bored by it all. Then a new post showed up in my reader: The Top 10 Reasons Modesty Gets a Yawn. Oops. Maybe I should at least finish what I’ve started, huh?
So here we go again! Come along for one last whirl through my closet, won’t you? Today’s agenda: dressy clothes and workout clothes. We’ll finish off with what to do with the clothes that don’t make the cut.
Before I set about purging my wardrobe of immodest clothes, I wondered whether it was okay to have different standards for different occasions. Throughout the process, I’ve realized that this is, well, obvious. For example, my husband the scientist pointed out that a dress that we deemed modest was still not appropriate church attire. (He thinks my skirts should be at least below my knees. He’s more of a stickler than I am! And to think I was worried about him being against this whole thing!)
I think the key to successfully acknowledging that different standards exist for different occasions is to not just throw out the standards altogether for certain occasions. Does that make sense? Although the criteria may differ, there are still criteria to be met. Instead of thinking about how much you can get away with, it seems to me that it’s better to have one minimum standard and add from there. Not that this standard should be low – but it's the base to build on.
Dressing Up
I thought this was going to be more painful than it was. I did lose a hunk of dresses. Here they are, in all their colorful, inappropriate glory.
For the most part I had to ditch them because they were too low cut. (What can I say – sometimes I took advantage of the fact that I could get away with no bra!) A couple looked too old/young. It was surprisingly easy to part with these. I think this is because I’d already done it once with my shirts.
There were several dresses I did not get rid of, but felt were on the line simply because they were strapless or spaghetti-strapped. Other than that, they were good, though (not too short, not too tight), and they were less low-cut than other things, so they got to stay.
For now at least. I reserve the right to change my mind (in a more conservative direction – don’t let me go the other way!). The red one on the far right still might go.
The other thing I did was go through and add reminders to my wardrobe. I cut out little yellow “undershirt!” flags and hung them on the hangers. I did this because (a) I’m a nerd and (b) I might be tempted to scrap all this modesty stuff a few months from now, and I want something to prevent me.
So there you have it. For the most part, going through my dresses was easy peasy!
What about my workout clothes?
This was a little more difficult. I love my running shorts, because (a) they make me look like a real athlete, (b) they have the underwear built in, (c) they have a little pocket for your key, and (d) they let my legs get nice and tan. But they are darn short, and I have been subjected to annoying boys hollering from car windows. (It’s not because I look good when I’m working out. I look like a sweaty beast.) So even though this type of shorts may be “appropriate” for the sport, I think I might still be objectifying myself when I wear them.
And really, what makes them appropriate? Why do runners need to wear such short shorts? Because having too much clothing will increase your drag, of course. Yeah, it’s about wind resistance. Do I run fast enough that this could ever possibly be an issue? No. Good-bye short shorts. Hello again to all my other gym shorts. (Darn – I have so many that I can’t even justify getting new ones!)
(Do you like the Texas flag ones? It seemed like every runner in Houston had a pair of these, so of course I had to get some when I lived there!)
Actually, I should mention how I went about this. I pulled the shorts on, stood with my arms at my sides, and saw where they fell in relation to my fingertips. The ones that were shorter than the tip of my thumb (no, not the very end of my fingers, I just couldn’t add those 2.5 inches) got pitched.
The thing is, my other workout shorts make me look so androgynous. At least I felt cute in the short shorts, you know? I do have a couple workout skorts, so I think that is the direction I am going to head from here on out. I just have to be careful that they’re not too short, too.
What about bike shorts? My favorite part is that they’re padded. Did you know this? It’s not just about the spandex. So I decided to keep my two pairs of bike shorts, for my bottom’s sake, with the caveat that I will pull on something else when not on my actual bike. Also, I was pleased to discover there is such a thing as a bike skort! (But I don’t bike enough to spend that kind of money, so I’ll just be pulling my gym shorts over my bike shorts for now.)
And finally, running tights. They’re basically leggings, only shinier. Those were banished. (That should give you a hint as to how I feel about leggings being fashionable now.) Not only are they immodest, but they aren’t really that warm. I might as well wear warmer sweats or trackpants, since, again, I don’t need to worry about wind resistance! I did not throw these completely out, though, because I like to use them to layer during the winter – they don’t bunch up like regular long underwear can.
Moving on to tops. I've never been one of those women who work out in just a sports bra (the credit goes entirely to self-consciousness). But I have many of those tops that are basically sports bras only longer. I love wearing them in the summer. I even love the weird tan lines I get from them. After consulting with my husband, I pitched two that were too tight, along with the white undershirts I sometimes run in (aka "A-shirts" or "wife-beaters").
I did keep two sports-bra-like tops. That night I dreamt about them. No joke – I dreamt that they were immodest and woke up thinking “I have to get rid of them!” I’m afraid to ask God if it was a sign, but I did pull them out and put them in the “sit on it and pray about it but you’re probably going to have to get rid of it” pile.
Also, this was a great opportunity to get rid of some of my excess. When we moved this summer, I thought I was doing great by getting rid of half of my t-shirts. Guess how many I still had?
Thirty. Mind you, I don’t actually buy t-shirts. They just somehow accumulate! I was able to bring myself to toss out 12. Yes, that still leaves me with 18. What can I say – I’m a work in progress.
Oh, and I just remembered, there was another class of shorts that I went through. The little cotton short shorts. I ended up keeping the boxer-like ones and getting rid of the ones with writing on the butt. I also pitched the ones where you turn the waistband over so it’s white on top (not pictured). The ones I kept are only to be worn around the house. That brings me to the final question in all this.
What do I do with the immodest clothes?
I had to give some thought to this. A couple people suggested I keep them and just wear them around the house for my husband. I think this has some merit, and that’s why I did keep those little boxer shorts. But I didn’t want to do this too much, for three reasons. 1) I’m too lazy to change out of “house clothes” when I need to run to the store or something, and I’m afraid the temptation would be too great to still wear those clothes if they’re still hanging around. 2) Eventually we will have children, and I’m not sure what kind of house dress I’d like to model for them. This isn’t really a huge reason, just something to keep in mind. 3) We live with my father-in-law. Therefore, I don’t feel all that comfortable prancing around in immodest clothes. And when he’s out of town, well, I have some much less modest things that I’d rather wear for my husband! ;)
So what to do if I actually want items expelled from my wardrobe? I probably shouldn't donate them, right, as that would just leave another woman out there dressing immodestly? (I did donate the ones that were simply age-inappropriate.) So do I literally throw away the rest? The cheapskate in me hates to waste perfectly good clothes. So I came up with three ideas: 1) make a patch quilt out of them (I did this once with high school clothes and it was awesome!); 2) cut them up and use as rags; 3) imitate other more creative bloggers and turn them into other cute things.
Phew, so there you have it! Can you believe that the purging/purifying process actually felt good after a while? At the beginning I was pouting and grudgingly accepting it, but by the end I was relieved with every item my husband gave the thumbs down to. It feels so good to not have those clothes hanging around. And while I used to think that switching out your winter and summer clothes every year was a sign that you were a grown woman, I have to say that having all of my clothes hanging in my closet at the same time is a much nicer feeling. (We do have a large walk-in closet now that makes this possible.) I don’t have to worry about hauling clothes back and forth twice a year, and like having one less chore. Getting rid of the excess is really freeing!
Thanks for hanging on this long. Anyone have other tips on decontaminating your dressers? Or what to do with the clothes that don’t make the cut?