This weekend we attended a baby shower with a delightful twist - the new parents-to-be didn't register for anything. The hostess noted that the couple would gladly take gift cards, cloth diapers, and secondhand items. I was very impressed by their selflessness, and also very excited at the opportunity to choose a gift for them myself!
Don't get me wrong - I think a registry is a great way to get exactly what you want and try to ward off what you don't. After all, it's not like you need a lot. But going off-registry is an exciting chance to support small businesses and give a gift that only like-minded girlfriends realize you could use. This is particularly pertinent when you know the couple is hoping to take a less conventional path with their new baby!
Here are some gift ideas for the natural-minded mom-to-be. (And dad, too, but I assume he won't be the one opening presents at the shower.)
(Please note that I don't make money off any of these links - I'm just freely sharing what I've found!)
For the Determined Breastfeeder
Breastfeeding book
This helps mama prepare ahead of time, but more importantly it's a good go-to source if problems should arise. Instead of following ridiculous rabbit trails online, she can just trouble-shoot using the book, saving her time and peace of mind. There are many breastfeeding books there, and I'd love to hear your favorites in the combox! I have and like The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, I hear The Nursing Mother's Companion is good, and I'd really like to check out Breastfeeding Made Simple and Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding help
While we're on the important topic of nursing resources, look up the ones in her area. Find the names, phone numbers, websites, and meeting times of local nursing groups and lactation consultants. Compile it all on one convenient sheet for her. Because a single piece of paper is going to get lost, attach it to cardstock and/or laminate it and stick a magnet on the back - then she can keep it on her refrigerator. You may also email her a copy of it, if you think it might get lost on the fridge!
When you're looking up breastfeeding groups, start with La Leche League, but don't stop there. Back in Pennsylvania I found a local breastfeeding group that wasn't affiliated with a national group, and they were great! In addition to the relaxed monthly meetings, they had a hotline you could call with questions and an extensive lending library they set up at every meeting. And it was all free!
Lactation consultants are not free, with the exception of the ones in the hospital - so encourage mom to take full advantage of those! In my own limited experience, having a lactation consultant come to your house is pricey - I believe it was around $125 in our area. The cheapskate in me was torn upon hearing this - luckily my husband was adamant that it was worth the cost. He was right. If you are passionate about helping mom successfully nurse, a very generous gift would be an in-home visit from a certified lactation consultant! (EDIT: Apparently lactation consultants are now covered by Obamacare? It's worth checking with your doctor and/or insurance (before the baby arrives) to find out!)
Nursing pajamas
She's going to be living in them for at least a couple weeks after giving birth, so give her something, cute, comfy, and most importantly nursing friendly! I wore a nursing nightgown from the end of my pregnancy to about a month ago - that's almost a year and a half. As for separates, my nursing/maternity pajama bottoms were falling off me pretty quickly, but I still wear the nursing pajama top. (I'm actually wearing it as I type this!) I prefer the style that you just pull over, as opposed to dealing with openings in the middle of the night. I was also surprised to find that I really liked having a robe, though I have never been a robe person. But let's be honest - I went without any top whatsoever for the first couple weeks, so it was nice to have a robe for when my arms got cold or company stopped by.
I assure you this is not what I look like in the middle of the night.
But this style of top is handy to just yank down at 2:00 a.m.
Nursing tank
This has become my go-to gift for expecting mothers - because it is my own go-to piece! After I finally stopped wearing pajamas everyday, this was basically all I wore. Under other tops when it was cold, on its own when it was hot. I liked being able to not worry about showing my stretch-mark covered postpartum belly and just focus on nursing. I only recently started wearing them less, when we stopped nursing during the day - although after roughly 15 months of wearing this as part of my daily uniform, I still reach for one out of habit!
I apologize that you have to see my worn out nursing tanks,
but I couldn't find any good images of the different openings online.
There are a couple of different opening types. I'm partial to the one on the left in the picture above, which has no extra fabric or straps under the pull-down front. The one in the middle is okay, though less so when you're very full at the beginning. I'm really not fond of the last one - there's extra fabric that I guess is supposed to cover you extra, but it doesn't lie smooth for me and I don't like worrying that I look lumpy there!
An important thing to keep in mind is that a nursing tank may not be enough support for a larger busted woman! She'll need a real (wire-less) nursing bra. These can be pricier, and so it's even nicer to get one as a gift! Make sure to include a gift receipt so she can get exactly the right size.
Nursing cover
I know - breastfeeding is beautiful, a woman shouldn't have to cover up, older babies don't like them, etc. If a mom chooses not to use a cover, that's great. But most moms, at least at the very beginning, are going to be fumbling and flashing. Give her the option of covering up as she learns how to nurse comfortably outside her own home.Nursing covers are incredibly easy to make. You can buy them starting at about $15, or you can make a nice one for much less than that on fabric and either elastic or a D-ring and a bit of boning. Here are some tutorials. If you're feeling really crafty, you can make some matching burp rags and it'll be a really attractive gift.
Or you find lots of cute sets like this on Etsy!
Other breastfeeding accessories
Some nice organic fabric breast pads are nice for her to catch leaks. A tube of lanolin is great, but it goes a long way so she doesn't need more than one to start. I don't have any personal experience with herbal teas, so I can't recommend them either way - feel free to leave a comment if you have thoughts on them!You may notice that I didn't include pumps or bottles on here. If a mom wants that, assume she'll register for the exact kind she wants. If not, I assure you it is possible for her to live without them.
For the Cloth Diaperer
Cloth diapers
Let's start with the obvious, shall we?You may feel silly, however, if the amount you were going to spend will only buy her one or two diapers. Don't worry - any number are welcome! As a different approach, though, if you know she was interested in a pricier brand and ended up asking for a cheaper one, you could get her one or two of the more expensive diapers so that she can try them. There's no rule that she has to have all of the same type of diaper.
Cloth wipes and solution
One of my girlfriends gave me some homemade wipes, a squirt bottle, and directions to make solution. That was a great gift that made it easy for me to go from sitting on the cloth wipe fence to a full member of the cloth camp!
You can buy cloth wipes or make them yourself. Especially if you make them yourself, do include a note of warning to wash and dry the wipes separately from the diapers several times before using. If she doesn't, her velcro diapers will become a lint-covered mess!
Diaper sprayer
Another friend got me one of these and raved about it. I had already been cloth diapering for a while and didn't know how much I really needed it. We were practicing EC, after all, and Miriam was on a streak of only pooping on the potty. That beautiful glorious four month streak of perfection ended - and let me assure you, I have been very grateful for the diaper sprayer since then!
For the Elimination Communicator
Diaper sprayer
See above. If they do need to use it on diapers, they'll be glad to have it. If they don't need to use it on diapers, even better! They can still use it to clean their toilet and tub, and I've even heard of people using it as a bidet. Who knew a diaper sprayer could be so multipurpose?Small potty
No need for lights or music here - just a basic receptacle so her visitors don't raise their eyebrows when she sticks a tupperware bowl under her daughter's rear. (They'll probably still raise their eyebrows, but more in amazement at the baby and not in concern at the sanitation of her leftovers.) This Beco potty is popular for when babies are small; this Baby Bjorn is popular for the whole duration. Even if she already has one, feel free to get her another - she can keep one upstairs and one downstairs, or one in the house and one in the car.
Beco on left, Baby Bjorn on right.
Waterproof pad
This makes diaper-free time a cinch for the non-mobile baby. Mom can just set her bare bottomed baby on here and not worry about keeping the floor clean. There are several options for pads: you can buy a mattress pad, you can make one from flannel and PUL, you can buy a wool mat. A sheepskin rug is supposed to be wonderful for the EC baby to sleep on.
EC-friendly clothing
While a buck naked baby is an option in summertime, a winter baby is going to need to stay warm, even if they are diaperless! Unfortunately, those adorable outfits mom gets at the shower are going to make EC difficult, with all their snaps and layers. At the very least try to find her some tiny t-shirts (as opposed to onesies), which will help her keep baby covered on top. Leggings are great on bottom - you can pay a pretty penny to buy her some or make them yourself. Some people like split-crotch pants - you can find some at the stores listed below or make some yourself (this gal has several free patterns for EC gear).Resources
She probably already has an idea of what she's getting into if she's told you she's going to try EC, but extra support is always nice. There may actually be an EC group in her area - look for one here and then add that info to the magnet you make her!As for information, here are my brief reviews on two EC books. And here is an ebook that I just discovered two days ago - I haven't read it yet but it looks fantastic! It is a bit pricier and as far as I know you can't check it out from the library as you can the other books, so buying her EC Simplified might be the best gift option. It comes with videos and a personal support forum, as well.
There are a few online stores that focus specifically on EC-related products. You may want to browse them to find something else you think she could use, or buy her a gift certificate from one of them.
The Diaper Free Baby Shop
Continuum-family.com
EC Wear
The EC Store
EC Simplified Gear
Naturally Diaper Free
For the Generally Crunchy Mama
Sling or wrap
Give her the gift of free hands and a happy baby nestled close! You may also want to help her practice with it, as some of them have a learning curve. A fun gift would be a trip to your local cloth diaper store, where she can try several wraps on and you can buy her favorite! Some stores will have a doll that's true to size and weight so she can really get a feel for it.Baby entertainment
She probably realizes that infants don't need toys. Board books are a great gift, though, and she'll be grateful to have lots of options once she realizes how tired she can get of the same story over and over and over again! If you just can't help but buy her a toy, try to stay away from the cheapo plastic - go for classic wooden or fabric toys with staying power. (Preferably not another stuffed animal, though.)Homemade ANYTHING
Knitted hats, crocheted blankets, homemade fabric blocks - those were some of my favorite gifts! Don't worry, she won't think you're cheap for making her gifts. She'll think you're thoughtful and talented and will be thrilled that you weren't just mindlessly consuming, but thoughtfully creating. Really - anything you make yourself will be great!The natural-minded mama realizes that none of the items listed above are truly necessary to raise a healthy baby... but they do make it easier! That's why they make great gifts - they're useful things that she might not buy for herself! Now what would you add to the list?