The Green Room

Semi-attached parenting (7 Quick Takes - 71)

1
As I've discussed before, I'm really attracted to the concepts of attachment parenting and some of those more crunchy parenting choices. To me the biggest draw seems to be that they're more "natural," as in that's how babies and parents were designed by God to live.

And then I remember that we don't live in a hut in Bali.

So as we settle into parenting, I'm realizing that we won't ever follow AP principles totally to the letter - and that's completely okay. We're slowly figuring out what works for us. And that means...

2
Exclusive breastfeeding... but not really "on demand."
I tried to do cue feeding at the beginning. But that basically resulted in me shoving my breast in her mouth every time she cried. I soon segued into nursing her every 2 hours, because I knew she couldn't be hungry more often than that. That eventually segued into 2.5 hours, then 3, and now 4. We got into our routine, and while I was never into that "She eats exactly at 7:45" I was and am very into "It's been 3.5 hours since she last ate, next time she cries I'm going to nurse her." The only problem with this is that I never really learned to distinguish her "I'm hungry" cry from the others, mostly because I've never really let her cry. I'm still working out how best to address this, and the conclusion I seem to keep coming back to is that I really like the eat - activity - sleep routine. You know baby is hungry when she wakes up, and that makes it easier to differentiate her other cries.

3
Sticking with routines.
Speaking of routines, why did it take me so darn long to decide to follow one? It's not that AP says you can't - it just says not to live by a strict schedule. But for some reason I took that to the extreme and thought that I'd just follow the baby and she'd eventually settle into her own routine. That didn't really happen. And personally, I love structure. I thrive having a set routine, so why wouldn't my baby? If having a set bedtime routine is so good for her, why wouldn't having a set everyday routine be good for her? Uh, duh - it is. When we come in from walking the dog and I take her out of the wrap, she starts rubbing her eyes - she knows that it's time for her afternoon nap. I love that.

4
Elimination communication... but not diaper-free all day.
Any success in this field comes only from my baby girl. All I do is give her the opportunity. She's the one who's learned that she'd rather go when I hold her over the toilet or sink than in her diaper. And I should probably clarify that even with all of her poop success, Miriam is really only without a diaper for a couple hours a day. We sit on a blanket on the floor and she plays while I piddle on the computer fold laundry and do other important chores. If she cries out or makes any distressed sounds, I put her on the potty. In that way I'm very slowly starting to learn to recognize her cries that she needs to pee - but this is really the only time of day that I am able to do that. And I still have one eye on the clock - if she just peed ten minutes ago, she doesn't need to go again.

Are you catching a theme yet? As much as I'd like to be a cue-watcher, I am a confirmed clock-watcher. I assume I'll get better with more babies. At least that's what I'm hoping.

5
Co-sleeping... for now.
Oh, baby sleep. Like any new mother, I could talk for hours about this. I've composed dozens of posts in my head while pacing with my sleepy baby in my arms. But I'll stick with a brief review of co-sleeping itself. I love it. Seriously. I love snuggling with my baby and waking up to her smile. It is the sweetest thing ever. My husband, on the other hand, now hates it. He was good with it at first, but he thinks she should be out of the bed sooner rather than later. And at this point, I have to agree that it would be best for all of us for her to sleep on her own. (And by on her own, clearly I mean in the sidecar co-sleeper. And then in a couple months, in a crib in her own room.)

My husband is of the opinion that co-sleeping is the reason Miriam sleeps so poorly. I am of the opinion that her mother is mostly to blame - shoving a breast in her mouth or a potty under her bottom every time the girl so much as stirred really prevented her from learning how to fall back to sleep. The remaining blame goes to both her parents for their nighttime inconsistency.

6
Baby-wearing.
Hey, I actually do this one as they suggest! I really love baby-wearing. I wear her when I walk the dog, when we're shopping, and when she's fussy when I need to make dinner. She's so content when she's cuddled up against me. So sweet!

7
Baby-led weaning... with traditional first foods.
We're really enjoying starting solids using baby-led weaning. However, I haven't been brave enough to start her on our actual table food yet. (This is partly because I've been cleaning out the pantry and we haven't been having the best meals lately!) So far we've stuck with more traditional beginning foods like bananas, avocados, sweet potatoes, pears, carrots, mangoes, and so on - except in chunks big enough to hold instead of pureed. She is getting the hang of picking up and gnawing on her foods, which isn't really easy to do when everything gets slimy!

So there you have it - our "semi-attached" parenting style, which I imagine will continue to evolve. I just wanted to share for the sake of keeping things real, since I was such a cheerleader for AP from the get-go! Have you changed your mind on any of these things? Have your parenting preferences evolved as you went on, or have they stayed the same from the get-go?