It's 9:00 in the morning and my home is silent. Cecilia is down for her nap and Miss Miriam, my big girl, is off for her first overnight without us. She was all smiles as she got into Grandma's car, waving good-bye effusively and blowing me a big kiss. I have no doubt she'll be fine. She won't cry.
I might.
We've been touring preschools these past few weeks. I don't think I'd have as hard of a time with this, but we're leaning towards a fantastic Montessori school that requires 5 day a week attendance. Every day! It would be one thing to slowly give her up, two or three mornings at a time, but every single day? It slays me.
Sure, we don't have to. But God has been gracious enough to make it clear that we are not homeschooling, and after praying about where to send her to school for a couple years now, it looks like this is the path we're taking. It's going to be great for her. It's going to be rough for me.
The thing is, Miriam is simply delightful. I love her company. I love being with her, all day, every day. I never realized just how much I would enjoy the presence of my children. I like doing everything with her. On the rare occasion that I run to the store without her, I actually miss her.
So I'm trying to process this whole school thing little by little. We're not planning to start her until the first of the year, after all. Deep breaths and enthusiastic conversations about "learning!" and only the occasional crying breakdown after she's fast asleep.
For almost a year now she's excitedly informed everyone that "I get to go to school when I'm three!" January can't come soon enough for my girl. She's ready for this. Now to get myself ready.